Catching Up
by LN8866
Summary: Its seven years later.  Fiona left Michael because of Anson.  Michael tells Fiona how her leaving affected him & she tells him where she has been.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER...I own nothing of BN! If I did..oh boy!

A/N...It's an awkward construction, but I think that if Fiona left Michael and they met up later his thoughts would also be disjointed.

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><p>Seven years ago you left. I was on a CIA mission and you disappeared before I got back. No note, no goodbye, nothing.<p>

Seven years ago I crawled into into a bottle of vodka, thinking there was no way out. Anson saw I was no use to him and left me alone. I heard he recently died.

Six years ago, not a single person wanted to be around me because I was either violent or nasty. Sam had enough of my drunken binges when I nearly killed myself driving to another bar because Carlito's wouldn't serve me when I arrived at their bar already drunk. Sam, Jesse and Nate knocked sense into me and they helped my mom get me cleaned up.

Six years ago, I left the CIA. Sam, Jesse and I own a small business where we help people in need. It was what I was meant to do.

Five years ago I met my wife, Melanie. Her father was a friend of Sam's. She's a wonderful woman who deserves better than me, but she has stayed by my side since we first met. I've put her through so much hell. Its taken me seven years to find you again and she's been supportive every step of the way. I wouldn't be here today if wasn't for her constant support.

Four years ago, Melanie and I were married. Sam met a coworker of Melanie's and they have been serious since the wedding. He's been living with her for the past two years.

Four years ago, Nate divorced Ruth and he has custody of Charlie. They live in the loft now. Ruth ran off with some guy she met at work and they live in Canada. She doesn't want anything to do with Charlie.

Three years ago Melanie and I had daughter. Her name is Callie and she's a bundle of energy. Uncle Jesse and Uncle Sammy are wrapped around her finger. There is nothing they wouldn't do for that little girl.

Two years ago Mom died. She had a massive stroke and held on for nearly three months. She just never got better. I never knew how much I would miss her until she was gone. We all miss her. Whenever I was alone with her she would ask if I found you. She adored Melanie, but she loved you like a daughter and missed you terribly.

That brings me to this year. I'm going to be a father again in a month. Its a boy this time. We are calling him Sam and let me tell you Sam is beaming with pride to have a kid named after him. Sam and his lady friend are expecting in six months. Jesse found someone online that he has been dating and Melanie swears they are getting married. I got a phone call two months ago from Sean. He said you came home and that he thought I should come see you. I didn't want to come but Sean assured my safety and everyone at home said I needed to come get closure with you. Melanie wanted to come, but she can't fly so close to her due date. I think you would like her.

So, this is me getting closure. I understand why you didn't stay but we could have beaten Anson together. I could have protected you. We all could have protected you. We were a family. Instead you left and you changed my life. As much as I love Melanie and my kids, I still think about the life you and I had and sometimes I still wish you were still with me in America. Its impossible now, so I've come to see you one last time before I let you go. You were the first woman I truly loved and you molded me into the man I am today. I missed and ached for you everyday for seven years and I will miss and ache for you until the day I die. You will always be in my heart. I have to go now, and I wont be back. I'm so sorry it ended like this.

_Michael collapsed to the cold wet ground. He didn't remember Ireland being so cold. He cried for Fiona for the first time in seven years. He refused to cry over her until he found her. When he could cry no more, he made his way over to Fiona and kissed the cold, gray stone that had her name etched in it. "Sleep well Fiona, and say 'hello' to my mom for me." _

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><p><em><strong>AN AGAIN: Sorry I ended it this way, but the muse kept bugging me to do it and she wouldn't leave me alone! Don't be mad! I love Fi! I reallly love her! **_


	2. Chapter 2

Fiona

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><p>Seven years ago, you left on a mission. You left me sitting in that damned loft. You left me alone with my thoughts. The more I thought about it, the more sense it made.<p>

Seven years ago, I left. No note. No goodbye. It was easier that way. It broke my heart, but I could not bear to see you under Anson's thumb any longer. Do not blame yourself. This was all my doing and I must end this on my own.

Six years ago, I was in Miami. You didn't know I was there. I ran into Sam who told me you left the CIA. He wanted me to come see you, he begged as a matter of fact. He said you were in bad shape and you needed me. I told him I was bad luck and Anson was after me, so I couldn't help you. I would just cause you more pain. I told Sam I had to go to the ladies room, but instead I left him sitting at the table. I wish now I had gone with Sam to see you.

Five years ago, I was in Spain. Anson finally caught up with me. He told me that he could ruin Nate, Jesse, Sam and you. If I did his bidding, then he would periodically destroy the information he had on all of you and I could go back to Miami a free woman. I was so tired of running away that I agreed to work with him. I hate myself but I also see why you worked for him. I must keep you safe from him and this is the only way. I wish I listened to you.

Four years ago, I managed to clear Jesse and Nate's information from Anson's hands. I hated myself for working with him, but each night before I went to bed, I would look at your picture and remember who I was doing this for. I wanted you to have a life where you aren't constantly looking over your shoulder for the next bad guy.

Three years ago, I cleared Sam's information from Anson. I did a lot of work in Russia that year. At night, when I closed my eyes, I swore I heard Sam's voice regaling me with tales of when he was in Russia himself. Lord, how I miss those stories.

Two years ago, I traveled constantly. Anson had me trying to find someone who was destroying various interests he had. I used Anson's paranoia to my advantage. He eventually trusted me and I delivered Anson into the hands of his opponent, who killed him very slowly from what I heard. I personally destroyed your information, Michael.

Last year I finally came back to Miami. I was going to go to your mother's house, but after seven years what would I say? I sat in my car, a few houses away. I watched the house. I didn't see your mother. I miss your mother. Since I could never go home again, she became my mother too. I missed our chats when you weren't around. Finally, I saw you pull into the driveway and get out of your car. Out the front door ran a little girl and a woman. They both hugged you and kissed you. You had a family. I was so very happy for you, but at the same I felt my heart break. That should have been ME greeting you with OUR child. I ended up driving away. If I came back now, I could ruin two lives that had nothing to do with our past. They did not deserve that. It is time for me to move on.

I finally settled in New York shortly after seeing you with your family. Six months ago, I came back to my apartment and surprised a burglar. He stabbed me several times in the stomach and he ran off. I bled to death on the floor. I remember being so cold and alone. I wish I could have told you that I missed you every second of every day that I was away. I wish you could have held me in your arms while Sam repaired the damage to my stomach. I wish you could have tended to my wounds and sat by bedside after Sam was done. I wish I could see Jesse and your mom nervously pacing outside the bedroom while Sam worked on me. I wish I never left you. I wish...to go back to Ireland now and fall asleep in the meadow on the hillside of our family's farm. Most of all, I wish you nothing but happiness.

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><p><strong>AN**~Had to write this one thanks to Danielle Muse! She put the idea in my head! Thanks to all the other readers, raters, reviewers and others out there who took time out for my work. I'm thinking of a 'Sam' chapter-which would show us how he felt about all this and then the aftermath. Love to you all!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N...I own nothing of BN, but I'm always accepting presents if you want to GIVE me BN! ;)

Sam's POV

Sam sat in the park with Melanie as they watched Callie playing. Since Michael wasn't there, Sam stepped up kept watch over them. Melanie was grateful as she was due to have her second baby in a month and she couldn't move around quickly and tired easily. When Michael left to see Fiona, he figured he would have to tell Melanie about the time after Fiona left, before Melanie met Michael. No one talked about it because it was such a dark time for Michael and they hated remembering it. Sam started off slowly.

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><p>Seven years ago Fi left Mikey. He was off on a mission and she left before me and Jesse she realized she ran away. We knew it would be bad when he got back and found out she wasn't there but no one thought he would become such a drunken prick. Anyway, he took up drinking as his main hobby and Anson left him alone since Mikey was no use to him drunk. He was hurting so bad that the only thing he liked was either being drunk or in pain. So whenever Jesse came by, Mike would try to pick a fight in hopes Jesse would throw a punch. Jesse realized what was going on and he refused to see Mike unless I was there. It got to the point that I refused to see Mike unless I got a call from a bar telling me to pick him up! He was in such in pain we had no idea what to do. Even Maddie was at a loss for ideas.<p>

_Sam shouted "Callie, do not take that boy's truck! You give it back right now! Take those hands off those hips Ms. Sassy Pants, you know I'm right!"_

Back to my story. It all came to a head six years ago. He left the CIA and took made Carlito's bar his main office. The bartender at Carlito's wouldn't serve him because he was already drunker than a skunk, so he did what any irrational drunkard would do. He got in the car and went looking for a bar that would serve him. He nearly killed himself by driving drunk. I had to plead with my cop buddy to keep him out of jail for the night. A drunk Mike in jail would have been ugly for everyone involved. He thought back to that terrible night.

_"Look Rick, I really would appreciate it if you didn't haul him into jail. Hit him with a DWI charge. I am behind that 110%, but if you out him into a cell with other guys, the first guy that annoys Mikey is heading to the ER. Let me take him and I promise I will keep him off the streets until he sobers up." Sam took a long look at the Michael sitting in the back seat of the police car. "I will make sure this never happens again."_

_Rick looked at Sam with a doubtful look. Sam knew he'd have to play hardball just to keep Michael out of jail for the night._

_"Didn't we help your daughter when she fell in with that gang? Look, Fiona left him and he left his job with the CIA. Throw him a bone. He is falling apart. If you put him into my custody I will fix the drunkenness."_

_"Sam, I owe you and Michael, so I am going to give you a week. I know this isn't the Michael who helped me out three years ago. You get him under control and then we can talk about this DWI ticket. I can date the ticket a week from now as part of an investigation. I have to charge him but we can avoid a night in jail. DWI's are serious. He could have killed someone or himself out here! Do not let him out of your sight. You lose him, you call me PRONTO."_

_"Understood. Give me ten minutes and then I'll take him. I have to make a call."_

_Sam walked away from his friend, got into his car and pulled out his cell phone. He dialed Jesse's number, praying he would answer._

_"Sam, its three in the morning! This better be good."_

_"It is Jesse. Mikey got arrested for drunk driving. I want to immobilize him for a bit, until he sobers up and we can get him better. I have a beach house that's far enough away from anyone so if we get loud no one will hear him. I'll text you the address."_

_Jesse was quiet for a moment. "Did he kill anyone?"_

_"No, but he wrecked the Charger and took out a guardrail in the process. I got my cop buddy to hold off on the ticket for a week. He'll still get a DWI charge but I told my buddy we'll keep him on ice until his head clears. We need to end this drunken depression thing he has going on and we need to do it now."_

_Jesse hung up the phone. Sam looked at the police cruiser, seeing Michael in the back. Sam hit his steering wheel and cursed. Finally, he got out of the car and took custody of Michael._

_Sam drove in silence down the highway. After twenty minutes of being in the back seat, firmly buckled in place, Michael finally talked, his speech very slurred. "Where the hell are we going? This isn't the way back to the loft."_

_Sam was silent._

_"Where are we going? Is this because I smashed my car? I'm fine. I can take care of myself. I don't need you to fix this with your cop buddy."_

_Sam was gritting his teeth. He was glad to arrive at the beach house and see Jesse's car there._

_"What the hell are we?" Michael let out a laugh. It was a laugh of a mad man. "I know know what you are doing. Trying to sober me up? Well, I'm a grown man. I don't need your help!"_

_Sam got out of the car. He went to the back seat and pulled Michael out but his shirt collar and started to yell at him. He threw Michael up against the car. "You are a grown man? What grown man gets himself drunk every night? What grown man wrecks his car because a bartender won't serve him? You've driven away your family and your friends. Did you realize Jesse won't even come around you anymore because you keep trying to turn him into a human punching bag? Nate can't bring Charlie to see your mom when you are there because God only knows what is going to come out of your mouth. Poor Maddie is heartbroken because she is seeing you turn into the same hateful man your father was. You've been too drunk to notice that the only time I come to see you is if I get a call from you because you are too drunk to see straight."_

_Michael was silent. Sam took a breath and continued yelling._

_"I am sick of this Michael. We are all sick of this."_

_Michael began to shout. "What do you want me to do? She left me. I loved her and she just walked away. After everything we went through, she left. I told her not to go but she didn't listen to me. Now Anson is hunting her down and I can't even find her to protect her. I can't protect the woman I love. Do you know how that makes me feel? So tell me Sam how am I supposed to handle this? You've had plenty of women leave you, how do you deal with this?"_

_Sam walked towards the Jesse, who had come out of the house when he heard Sam yelling. Something inside made him turn around. Michael had fallen onto the ground, ending up on his knees. Sam, seeing how defeated Michael looked, walked back over and and pulled him up. He spoke loudly to Michael, hoping his words would not fall on deaf ears. "I turn to my friends. I never once became a coward and drank myself in a year and half long stupor. I faced the pain head on. It sucks but you work through it." Sam softened his tone. "Sometimes, as hard as it might be, you have to ask for help."_

_Jesse, who had been quiet the whole time, finally spoke. "Its the hardest thing in the world to do, but once you ask for help it'll get better."_

_They let Michael sit on the ground for what felt like hours. Sam could see the wheels slowly turning through Michael's drunken head. Finally Michael said the words Sam was hoping to hear. "I..need...help."_

_Sam clapped his hands. "Those are the words I've been dying to hear! Let's get you better Brother!"_

_Jesse walked over to where Michael was sitting and helped him up. Together the three men walked into the house and began to get Michael healthy again._

So six years ago he decided to go back to work and we began helping everyone and anyone who needed help. It was good to get Mikey working again. It helped him get centered and back on track. He still looked for Fi when he could, but he his leads were always too late.

_Sam, seeing his niece doing something dangerous shouted "Callie, I am telling you to stop jumping off the monkey bars! Your mother doesn't want you to have a broken leg a month before your brother is born." _

Then five years ago a bright burst of sunlight came into our world and saved our Mikey from a lifetime of singleness. I give you a lot of credit for not leaving. Michael is not the easiest person to be with.

_Sam finally reached his limit with the toddler. "Callie, if I say your name once more I am going to take away that Barbie doll Santa brought you. As your Uncle I can do that! Don't give me puppy dog eyes, they might work on Uncle Jesse but not your Uncle Sam!."_

The phone rang. Sam saw it was Mike calling. Taking a deep breath, he answered, afraid of how Michael would sound.

"Hey Brother! How's our Irish rose?"

Sam was quiet. "I am so so sorry Michael. Come home Brother. we miss you. Your family is here for you."

Sam ended the call and was quiet for a moment. "Fiona is dead. He hung up on me, didn't want to talk. He'll be home soon. That's all he said."

Sam scrubbed his face with his hands, hoping not to cry at the park. As much as he loved Melanie and the man she helped Michael become, part of him always hoped Fi would come back. Even if she came back and was still a part of their gang, but not involved with Michael, he could live with that. All hope was gone for seeing for again. All he could do is hope his brother wouldn't become lost again.

Looking over at Melanie, who wore a worried expression on her face, he took her hand in his and said "Don't worry. We'll get Mikey back. You just worry about keeping that little man inside safe and happy for the next month. Do they make baby Hawaiian shirts?"

They looked at one another and laughed.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N...I know this is short & not like the others. I promise the next ones will be longer! BTW...I feel bad for making you all cry! Still don't own a lick of BN!

Jesse

Jesse was doing various chores around town when he heard his phone go off.

"Hey Sam. I don't have any information yet on the guy Sugar needed help with."

"That's not why I'm calling Jesse. I heard from Mikey."

"Did he find Fiona? She ok? She coming to Miami?" Jesse wanted to ask a million questions but stopped with those.

Sam was silent. He hated being the one to break the news of death to people. "Fi is dead Jesse. Mikey didn't say much. He's should be catching a flight as we speak."

"Oh damn. I'm sorry Sam. I thought she'd be alive and hiding out some where. Call me when he gets home and I'll be over. Is Melanie ok?"

"She's fine. Just worried about Mikey. Gotta go. I'll see you later."

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><p>Jesse walked into the Church, near the post office he was at when Sam called. He sat down in a pew and quickly became lost in his thoughts.<p>

"Son, is there something I can help you with? You look to be confused."

Jesse jumped a little. "Father, I'm sorry. I was thinking about somethings and you startled me. I got some bad news about a friend who was lost and we always hoped she would come back to us, but I just found out she is dead."

"I'm sorry. Tell me more. Sometimes talking out what's in your head will help clear it so you can see your next step."

Jesse looked at the Priest, seeing concern in his face, he began to explain his thoughts.

"She was a ball of fire. I didn't meet her or my friend Mike under the best conditions. We've had our fights but we always stuck together. She left seven years ago because she thought it would be for the best, to save people from heartache and pain. Instead, this tiny Irish woman brought my friend to his knees and nearly ruined his life. I tried so hard to hate her for leaving but I understood it. I understood her. I just wish she didn't hurt my friend. I had to stand back and let him destroy himself because I didn't know what else to do. All I could do was be there for my friend Sam, who was there for Mike, to clean up his messes. We got him back on track and he adjusted to her being gone, but never really got over her. Now we know she's dead and I'm worried my friend will become a miserable drunk again. This time there is more to lose for him because he has a wife, my niece and my nephew who is due to arrive in a month. I just don't want him to screw up his life because I don't think I have it in me to help save him again."

The Priest put his hand on Jesse's shoulder. "Many a man has come into this Church looking for strength, for guidance, for some sort of hope that they could cling to. You are no different than those other men. You have it in you to help your friend. This is no different than before. If he backslides, you know what to do because you have helped him before and your being here tells me you will help him again. If you weren't worried, you would have gone about your day and not given your worries a second thought. You told me that he has a wife and children that you consider your niece and nephew. He's your friend and I am guessing his wife is not your sister, so they both have bestowed the title of 'Uncle' onto you because they trust you will always have the children's best interest at heart. If things go badly, you are worried for them as well. You do have it in you to help your friend and to protect his family. I think he would do the same thing for you. You just have to dig deep and hold on to the people around you."

Jesse thanked the Priest, who said a few prayers for him before he left the Church. He got in the car and dialed Melanie's phone number.

"Melly, I'm coming over. I'll take Callie for a few days so when Michael comes home he can have some breathing room. I'll watch my niece while you and Sam make sure Mike is ok."

Jesse hung up the phone and drove off into the distance.


	5. Chapter 5

Conversation From Ireland

Michael sat in his hotel room and dialed his wife's cell phone. When he heard her sleepy voice, he realized that it was the middle of the night in Miami. At first he didn't say anything, and neither did Melanie. Finally Michael chocked out some words.

"Tell Sam I am going to be delayed. Bad weather so I got a hotel tonight."

Melanie was trying her best to hide her tears. As soon as she heard Michael's shaky voice, she started to cry silently.

"I will. Callie misses you so much. She's with Jesse right now so I can rest. Are you ok?"

More silence.

"Mike, you can talk to me. No matter how bad it seems in your head, you can tell me."

She heard Michael slow his breathing and swallow. "I know. I feel horrible putting all this on you. You deserve better than what I have given you. I tried so hard to make you my first priority, but sometimes I couldn't because of Fiona and my need to find her. You never deserved to be second fiddle to a ghost."

Melanie's heart ached for her husband. He was going through so much right now and she couldn't make it better for him. "Michael, I came into this relationship knowing that you had this blind devotion to Fiona. I knew it from when we first met. I was always ok with being second to Fiona. I love you so much I figure just having part of you is better than having nothing at all."

Michael was quiet again. She hated his silence when he was so far away. At least when Madeline died and he was quieter than usual, she would wrapped her arms around him, give him a kiss or even just hold his hand while he worked out whatever he needed inside his head.

Finally he spoke again. "Sean told me she died in New York. Stabbed in her apartment and she bled to death. She was all alone."

Melanie heard him sniffle. His voice was getting louder. His words sounded very deliberate and forceful, like he was planning each word very carefully. "She didn't have to die alone, Mel. If Anson was dead, she could have come to Miami and found me. She knew I wouldn't move. I would have taken her in and helped her get on her feet again, like she helped me for all those years. I owed it to her." He stopped for a moment but then continued. His voice became softer. "You have a good heart and I think she would have liked that about you. You guys would have been good friends."

"I would have liked to have met her. Can you do me a favor, Michael?" she asked.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Come home. Your family is here. We all miss you and we'll all help you get through this."

Michael replied quickly. "I wish you were here. Tell Sam I'll call him when I land. It's late, you need to rest."

"If I am sleeping when you get home, wake me up."

Michael's tone softened and sound more calm. "I will. Don't let Sam sleep in my bed. He drools in his sleep."

Melanie laughed. He loved to hear hear laugh.

"I love you Michael."

"I love you Mel. Get some sleep."

Michael got into bed and laid staring at the ceiling. He was mad at himself for unloading all of his problems on a woman who was due to have his second baby very soon. He was jarred from his thoughts when a text came though on his cell phone. It was Melanie.

_Stop thinking. Even Michael Westen needs sleep. Love you._

He closed his eyes, thanked God for a wife who understood him so well, said a prayer for Fiona, fell asleep quickly and had dreams of being back home with his family in Miami.

**A/N**...The End! I hope you enjoyed! I never meant it to go on for these many chapters, but I want to thank all of you for helping me & encouraging me! This is the first multi chapter story I wrote :) I'm done with all the angst for now (come on...the season finale gave me enough angst to last me a few YEARS!).


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